So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
