he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
