OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
