oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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