I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize