we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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