i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
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She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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