Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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