I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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