Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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