Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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