I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
