i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
