I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
