We're facebook friends in real life
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
