you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
