That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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