He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
