that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
