I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
How's work?
Spinning.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize