why im i the only drunk person in the library?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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