it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize