So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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