he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
