This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
