dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
