When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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