Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
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I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
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I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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