The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also, beer. Big fan.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
