dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
