I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
