Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
