I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
