If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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