Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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