i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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