I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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