Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
