I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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