So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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