Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
