This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
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tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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