Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
