We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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