if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
