Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
