today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
