Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize