yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
im on a boat
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