my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
