I must be too annoying 4 u.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
