are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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