I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize