Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
