I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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