I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize